SEXY SUZY 😉
So you’re dealing with low libido, AKA low sex drive, AKA little drive in the hanky-panky department. First off, that is perfectly normal in every sense; not everyone wants to have sex, and other people do not have the physical or emotional ability to be having sex at certain points in their life. You aren’t a freak or a prude, no worries — your willingness to have sex may always be low or nonexistent, or perhaps one day it will increase and you’ll be a sex machine! Either way, shame is an easy route to go down when you have low libido, but we aren’t here for the EASY road, we’re here for growth and self-acceptance, baby!
If you’re out there right now thinking, “Suzy, I wanna fuck, but I just can’t get it up!” It’s all good, no worries, it’s normal! Even people with monster sex drives go through periods of low libido. There’s a variety of physical and emotional variables that impact sex drive. Even I, your benevolent sex-authority Goddess, go through periods of low libido almost yearly. These periods used to inhibit me — I felt as if I was disappointing my partner or myself. Through reassurance from my partner that, no, I wasn’t an awful disappointment, and a little soul searching, I realized the source of my unusually low libido: the elusive and ever powerful gremlin of seasonal depression! (Dun dun DUNNNN).
How I discovered this was through a simple Google search of “wanna have sex but also can’t please help.” After sorting through articles about erectile dysfunction and Viagra advertisements I finally found what I was looking for: physical and emotional causes of low libido. I believe the actual information was on some body building forum, which I wouldn’t classify as a reliable source, but we all have to start somewhere.
As it turns out, there’s a variety of reasons people who have average to high sex drives can experience low libido. According to the Mayo Clinic, people with vaginas can experience lower libido due to an variety of interconnecting reasons that are individual to every person. Some of these factors include use of medication that lowers libido, high alcohol use or smoking, illness, general fatigue, hormone changes, mental health issues and relationship problems. WOWZA! That’s a whole lot of factors! After reading all these over, I quickly realized a possible correlation was afoot. The times of year I experience low libido are during the winter months, when the weather is dreary and utterly miserable. This time is also when I experience the greatest impact of my depression heightened by the chill and lack of sunshine my body is used to. Realizing this both angered me at my bodies rebellion against my wishes for doinking, and brought me great relief that this time was only transitory. I fought against both my depression and my low libido by becoming more physically active and eating as healthily as I could (meaning I ate more May Dell salads and fewer pimento grilled cheeses at the Cafe, sometimes). I still experienced periods of sadness and general lower libido, but with my efforts I began to feel better physically, and through my research and understanding of my low libido, I began to feel better emotionally.
Low sex drive is nothing to be ashamed of. Whether you never want to have sex, or are going through a period of low libido, know that you are not alone in your experiences. Research the causes for low libido and sit down to do some soul-searching. Your libido will fluctuate throughout your entire life, from your pubescent years through menopause your sexual desires will ebb and flow. No sweat! Take care of your body and your mental health, and before you know it you’ll be the absolute sex beast you were!
Stay classy, stay trashy,