SEXY SUZY 😉
I’m just gonna peel the bandaid off right now. The first time you have sex probably won’t be as earth-shatteringly amazing as you expect. When you have sex for the first time with someone, it’ll most likely result in a little awkwardness. Definitely a lot of weird noises. Don’t worry too much, however – it’s like this for most people. That is, unless you’re some kind of divine Sex Goddess miles above all us naïve mortals just trying to have a good time.
Part of the whole fear of having sex is the inevitability that the first time, whether it’s the first time ever or the first time with someone new, you will feel immense pressure to perform well. As the HIGHLY academic college students we are, we’re always shooting for that A. Alas, there are no grades in the art of sex. It is nothing but an extracurricular, which means that though it requires practice, ultimately you’re doing it for fun!
All bodies are different in every possible way. The way that you experience pleasure will be different than how some costume major at UNCSA gets her rocks off. You may ask me, “But my dear, sweet, AMAZING Suzy… how do I know what they like? How do I know what I like?”
Great questions! And to that I say: communication and practice. The world isn’t going to get any less awkward, I promise you that, so just lean into the process, embrace the awkward and know that it will come to pass. Talk to your partner. What are they comfortable with? Does that feel good? What do you like? Let them ask you these questions in return. Guide them, and let them know when they’re on the mark.
It takes time to know other people’s bodies. We are all so complex, both inside and out, that we’ll never fully understand every single thing about someone. If you want to have MORE sex with someone, however, then with practice you’ll come to have an extensive and meaningful physical understanding of one another. It will be difficult being open and vulnerable with someone, especially around the sacred space of your body. It will take trust and passion. Weigh your thoughts and desires, and if you aren’t ready in the end, that’s perfectly okay! Our bodies are ours, and sharing our love and presence with others in sex is a beautiful form of intimacy that won’t simply come in a day (haha).
Communicate, practice, love and stay saucy,