Welcome back, my sexy Salemites. It’s time for everyone’s favorite topic of conversation: sex. More specifically, and oftentimes more taboo, sex with yourself. Most everyone has sex but, from what I hear, a lot of people don’t like to masturbate – or, at the very least, don’t like to talk about masturbating. Let me just tell you what you probably already can guess – it’s healthy, it’s sexy, and it’s a damn good time. But it can get a little awkward.
Before I get into the possible awkwardness of masturbation with a roommate – which, with any luck, will be next month, my dears – let me first address the people who aren’t super into masturbation. Maybe you haven’t tried it, maybe you’re still trying to get past all the toxic shit that surrounds ~feminine sexuality~, maybe it’s just not something that you think is for you. Either way, I recommend you at least try it at some point. Here are a few misconceptions about masturbation that we should clear up first.
- Masturbation has negative health impacts. It should go without saying, but you won’t get shorter or grow hair on your palms or whatever your sex ed teacher told you in middle school. Masturbation is actually really healthy for you. It can relieve stress – something I think we can all benefit from with the school year finally starting to get some traction.
- Masturbation “ruins” you. It doesn’t make you dirty, it doesn’t make you… anything, really. Just like sex isn’t as big of a deal as we make it out to be, masturbation isn’t either. Like I said, it’s a good time, but it doesn’t have to be something you think really hard about. I personally recommend it because I think you should know and understand your body so you can have a more enjoyable experience should you choose to have sex with a partner.
- You can’t or shouldn’t masturbate if you have a partner or it’ll ruin sex for you with a partner. Okay, so. I don’t know what kind of sex y’all are having with your partners but if anything, masturbation will only help your sex life. In my experience, it makes you more open, it helps get a better understanding of what you want in bed (or on the table, or in the bushes, or in the shower). Masturbation shouldn’t threaten your partner. If it does, you and your partner should probably have a conversation about possible controlling tendencies. And, as a side note, darlings, mutual masturbation can be an excellent date night idea.
- You have to cum or it wasn’t a successful session. This is a big misconception, not only about masturbation, but with sex in general. You don’t have to cum to enjoy yourself, darlings. A lot of vagina owners find it difficult to orgasm, both with a partner or on their own. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You can still enjoy yourself in bed without climaxing. To me, the most important part of masturbation is to enjoy yourself – discover what you like, what makes you scream to the heavens, what have you. That doesn’t have to require cumming.
That is all I have for you today. Enjoy yourselves, darlings.
XOXO,
Sexy Suzy
Send me your thoughts, feelings, questions at salemite@salem.edu
thesalemite.org 